She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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