I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I am one with the molecules
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
