I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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