I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm bleeding and have questions
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
