Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
