I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
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