do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Randomize
