did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm sobbing to NWA
Enjoy the penises
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
