Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
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