She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
