Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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