I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
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