what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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