How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize