these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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