Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
