Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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