when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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