haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
