At least make sure they are 18
Why
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
