yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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