Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Randomize