the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize