I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
