i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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