just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize