I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
