Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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