I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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