I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
you inspire me to be a worse person
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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