yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
