Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
