Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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