Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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