I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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