You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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