No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
