Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
