Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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