Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
