Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
