um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
