Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
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