my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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