I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
