i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
