No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
All I want is dick and wine.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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