you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize