I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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