Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
