I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
