did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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