She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
