So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize