Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
