if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
