The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize