Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
