is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
