WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
