Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Farmville is her only friend.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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