We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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