how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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