we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
