wake up i wanna do it froggy style
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
