every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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