i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
