No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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