Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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