i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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