There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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