Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
